Category Archives: Devotional

Men – Pray For Your Wives (Part 4)

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I’ve been speaking primarily to men in this series. The topic has been praying for our wives so that we will be changed. I know many of you men are of the attitude that you pray for your wives so that God will change her. My point in this series is that God is going to change you in order to change her.

So far we’ve discussed the fact that praying for your wife will result in you evaluating your relationship with her, your responses to her, and the type of love you show her. Guys, this is “gut check” time. Will you be honest with yourself? Will you listen as well as hear when God answers you concerning your prayers for your wife?

This process will yield the sweet fruit of confession and repentance toward God and if necessary, to your wife. Men, you have a high calling as spiritual leader in your marriage. This leadership position can only be powered by the Holy Spirit who will enable you to love her sacrificially.

You will see a definite change in your heart attitude toward your wife. You will cherish, treasure, and celebrate her as God’s gift to you. You will see her as God’s appointed helper to walk alongside of you. She is your biggest supporter. She is worthy of celebrating and praising with a thankful heart.

This in turn changes your behavior. Men, the way we show that we treasure something is to spend time engaged. Schedules can be cruel task masters that will ransack a fruitful marriage. Make sure your priorities are right which means that time with your wife is near the top of your list.

This transformation will change the way you pray for your wife. It will no longer be “God change her because I can’t take much more,” and will instead become, “God change me so that I don’t take my wife for granted, so that I’m not bitter, so that I’m not hateful.” Your prayer life for your wife lays the foundation for a marriage God designed it to be.

Men, praying for our wives is a powerful and much-needed discipline. But I will boldly tell you that we need to pray for her as much, if not more than she needs us to pray for her. God change us so that we might be the men our wives need.

Grasping these truths will create a transformed heart. The next post will be the final in this series, “Men –Pray For Your Wives Part 5.”

Friends, I welcome your comments.

Men – Pray For Your Wives (Part 3)

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In this series of posts I’ve been talking primarily to men.  The subject has been praying for our wives.  Today is part three in this ongoing conversation.  Thus far you’ve learned that praying for your wife means you will undergo change.  God will begin to work in your wife’s life by first preparing you to be a change agent for her.  But being a change agent means that you will change first.

Today’s question is this – Men, do you understand that your treatment of your wife is a commentary on you and not her?  I can hear the grumbling already, but guys think about this.  God has called us as husbands to love our wives and to sacrifice ourselves for her. Sacrificial love does not seek its own welfare as of first importance.  It is concerned primarily with loving others, and I might add, loving others extravagantly.

Some might question that last qualifier – extravagant – as a proper descriptor of the love that we should have for our wives but I ask you to consider that loving your wife in a sacrificial manner means that you will not allow any earthly thing to become a priority in your life over your wife. You will see her as a reason to celebrate God’s goodness to you. In effect, you are becoming a servant leader to her.

This heart attitude reflects your understanding that your wife is God’s gift to you.  When was the last time that you considered that truth?  God matched the two of you to become one flesh for His glory and honor. Does your treatment of your wife reflect this reality?  Here is where the rubber meets the road.  No excuses are accepted.  Leaders lead by example, so show the world that you value your wife by your words and actions.

Your relationship with your wife is a mirror that reflects what is in your heart. Take the time today to pray earnestly for your wife. When you do you will notice a definite heart change in you and in time if it is necessary, in your wife.

Men, these truths can be transforming moments in your lives if you recognize the opportunities before you.

Stay tuned for Part 4 of “Men – Pray For Your Wives.”

God bless you today as you seek Him.

Pastor You Must Be A Theologian (Part 1)

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Of interest to many pastors, ministry leaders, and church support organizations is the rise in the number of people who consider themselves to be “nones” and/or “dones.”  The “nones” group is comprised of people who respond to questions related to religious affiliation with “none.”  The second group is comprised of people who are “done” with the Church as an institution.  It is not my intention here to detail and discuss the myriad reasons for these responses.  I mention them because I think they share a common root cause.

A large percentage of the nones have never darkened the door of a church.  Their knowledge of Christianity is based solely on what they happen to observe on television or hear their friends or family discuss.  The dones are on the other end of the spectrum.  They have for the most part been raised in the Church, have been active in various roles, and still profess faith in God even though they no longer attend any Church services.  Many opt instead for home fellowships or other gatherings of believers in an informal setting.

What do these groups have in common?  Simply they both want a message that matters and neither group is hearing one.  The nones among us are not necessarily anti-Christian.  Indeed spirituality is at an all-time high in America so there is a large percentage of seekers among the nones.  Unfortunately the modern Church is more concerned with feeding God’s people the latest self-help pop psychology wrapped in Christian garb than it is teaching God’s Word faithfully book by book and chapter by chapter in a systematic and comprehensive fashion.  The competition is fierce in the self-help category with the likes of Oprah, Chopra, and Osteen carrying the day. No wonder nones aren’t listening to the religious equivalent of this group of new age icons.

The dones likewise long for a clear declaration of God’s truth through a matter-of-fact exposition of the text.  A large number of pastors have rejected a deep dive into the Scriptures and an equally challenging presentation of the biblical texts.  Their weekly offering of the Word falls well short of being spiritual food and nourishment for God’s people. This is so because God must be the focus of our exposition and Christ the answer to the issues we face. When the focus becomes people, their problems, and the steps they must take to regain their happy life, a concoction of spiritual poison has been brewed and dispensing that week after week will guarantee a Laodicean church.

King David declared in Psalm 19:7 that “the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.”  This entire chapter is devoted to general (v. 1-6) and special (v. 7-13) revelation.  The point in verse eight is that God’s Word is sure because it is trustworthy.  It is trustworthy because it corresponds to reality.  In other words, God’s Word speaks with razor sharpness concerning our common human condition and provides the same clarity when it comes to what remedy He has provided for us.

Pastors, it is time to scale again the mountaintop of biblical exposition and declaration.  God has called you to that task, He has supplied you with all you need to perform it, and the people He has entrusted to your care must have it. We are called to be theologians and shepherds not a self-esteem masseuse or motivational coaches.

This is the first installment in a five-part series entitled “Pastor You Must Be A Theologian.” Stay tuned for more.

Men – Pray For Your Wives (Part 1)

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Today I want to speak directly to men. Guys, let’s talk about prayer. No, this isn’t a beat-down or a shame-fest meant to cajole you into spending more time in prayer.  The congregation I have the blessing to pastor, knows that this is not a tactic I employ.  Shaming people into doing something never works in the long run.

Instead men, I want you to consider why you should pray for your wives AND more importantly, what your frame of reference should be.  A recent article on this subject got me thinking about this topic and provided a great example of the right approach to praying for our wives.

What is that right approach?  Simply this – men we are to pray for our wives so that we can be changed.  I can almost hear all the “what?” questions right now.  “What do you mean pray for my wife so that I can change?”  “She is the one that needs to be changed!”

Here is a spiritual principle to try on guys – you only have control over your responses. You cannot control the responses of other people. In fact, you will never see the changes you want in your wife until you become the change you want to see.  The old adage that warns not to point fingers at others for their faults because there are at least three fingers pointing back at you comes to mind here.

So, how does praying for your wife with the proper attitude change you? Because praying for your wife with the right attitude will soften your heart.  I know this is true from personal experience.  You cannot honestly pray for someone you are mad at or aggravated with. I have counseled many men over the years to put this principle to the test. My counsel to them has been this – the next time you and your wife find yourselves in a discussion that is heading “out of bounds,” have the courage to stop, look your wife in the eyes, take her hands, and say “let’s pray.”

When you pour your heart out for your wife, when you seek God and ask Him to encourage her to be all that she can be in Him, I guarantee you God will show you ways that you are hindering her in that quest. Men, we are sinners and more often than we want to admit, we display a callousness toward them that really undermines the very character qualities we desire to see in her.

I will focus on this subject in four additional posts. We will continue this conversation about the great need we have as men to pray for our wives. Look for Part 2 in this series soon.

May God richly bless you today as you seek Him.

Pastor You Are Just A Bus Driver

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Know that the Lord Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Psalm 100:3

One of the many challenges that church leaders face is the challenge to remember that our brothers and sisters in the faith belong to God.  They are His people and as our focus passage states, “sheep of His pasture.”

This highlights some very important implications.  For instance, men and women who make your church their spiritual home, do so as a result of their relationship with God.  He has entrusted them to your care for a season.  They need sound spiritual guidance from you.

Second, it is God who will sustain His people. How does God do that? God does that by feeding them in His pasture.  That may be your church for a season but it can just as easily be another church in another season. But even while being a part of your church, God’s people should be partaking of solid spiritual food as a result of their personal communion with Him. Yours should not be the only voice they hear.

Why do I bring this up?  For this simple truth – far too many church leaders today, behave as if God has assigned people to their churches for as long as they live.  Now before you church leaders start getting yourself all worked up, hear me out.  What I am suggesting to you is that you are merely a bus driver in the Kingdom of God and not a warden.  In other words the church door swings both ways. And it is my belief we should encourage that.

People will get on and off the bus at every stop you make on this faith journey called life. We should not be surprised by this.  The days of 3rd and 4th generation families calling the same church their home, are rare according to recent statistics.

Given that fact, shouldn’t church leaders be preparing people to be Kingdom builders in their own right?  What would happen if more church leaders actually discipled God’s people under their care, to go out and start new churches?  That would create a Gospel title wave that would sweep across our nation, something we desperately need in America today.

Church leaders – take seriously your role as a Kingdom bus driver and watch the amazing things that will happen as a result.  That will be a transforming moment in your life.