Prayer | Dr. Mike Spaulding

In part one of this series I introduced the idea that as men we must pray for our wives. I discussed the great need we have as men to pray for our wives with the right attitude. That right attitude is an understanding that as the leaders of our families we must model the actions and words we desire to see in our wives. This means when we pray for our wives we must be prepared to change.

Men when we pray for our wives to be all that God wants them to be our heart attitudes toward her will change. Has there been strife and discord in the relationship? It is impossible to hold onto a hurt while praying earnestly for God to move and work in our wives. And when we do ask God to move in our wife’s life, He will begin by showing us what part we must play in that process.

This will also draw our attention to her needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses. We will begin to see where we can step in and offer help or volunteer to take something off her plate. Guys, I don’t need to remind you that we can get caught up in our busy lives of work, schedules, and deadlines, not to mention the children’s activities and church related events. It is easy to forget that our wives have struggles too and would see your unsolicited offer to help as a huge encouragement.

In this process of praying for our wives we will experience change in our own attitude and we will begin to sense our hearts being more closely aligned with our wife’s heart. Men, it is a commonly accepted truth that women seek a deeper emotional bond with their husbands, deeper than many men realize. You’ve been put on notice now; so what are you going to do in response?

Being a godly husband is a daunting task when rightly understood. Our role is to provide strong, consistent, righteous leadership that demonstrates patience under fire, kindness as a first priority, and perhaps most importantly self-control. Being a husband does not give you the title of dictator nor the authority to “lord” it over your wife; if those are your behaviors, you are sowing to the wind and as the Bible says you will reap a whirlwind of trouble.

In the next installment in this series I will talk about how your treatment of your wife is a mirror into your heart. Stay tuned for Part 3 of “Men – Pray For Your Wives.”

God bless you today as you seek Him.

Today I want to speak directly to men. Guys, let’s talk about prayer. No, this isn’t a beat-down or a shame-fest meant to cajole you into spending more time in prayer. The congregation I have the blessing to pastor, knows that this is not a tactic I employ. Shaming people into doing something never works in the long run.

Instead men, I want you to consider why you should pray for your wives AND more importantly, what your frame of reference should be. A recent article on this subject got me thinking about this topic and provided a great example of the right approach to praying for our wives.

What is that right approach? Simply this – men we are to pray for our wives so that we can be changed. I can almost hear all the “what?” questions right now. “What do you mean pray for my wife so that I can change?” “She is the one that needs to be changed!”

Here is a spiritual principle to try on guys – you only have control over your responses. You cannot control the responses of other people. In fact, you will never see the changes you want in your wife until you become the change you want to see. The old adage that warns not to point fingers at others for their faults because there are at least three fingers pointing back at you comes to mind here.

So, how does praying for your wife with the proper attitude change you? Because praying for your wife with the right attitude will soften your heart. I know this is true from personal experience. You cannot honestly pray for someone you are mad at or aggravated with. I have counseled many men over the years to put this principle to the test. My counsel to them has been this – the next time you and your wife find yourselves in a discussion that is heading “out of bounds,” have the courage to stop, look your wife in the eyes, take her hands, and say “let’s pray.”

When you pour your heart out for your wife, when you seek God and ask Him to encourage her to be all that she can be in Him, I guarantee you God will show you ways that you are hindering her in that quest. Men, we are sinners and more often than we want to admit, we display a callousness toward them that really undermines the very character qualities we desire to see in her.

I will focus on this subject in four additional posts. We will continue this conversation about the great need we have as men to pray for our wives. Look for Part 2 in this series soon.

May God richly bless you today as you seek Him.