honoring your wife | Dr. Mike Spaulding

In this series of posts we have discussed the need we have as men to pray for our wives. If you’ve been with us for the first four parts in this series, you’ve learned that the biggest reason we need to pray for our wives is so we might be changed. No doubt this reasoning has taken many of you by surprise.

Men we pray for our wives so that God will fundamentally change us; so that we will have hearts in-tune with God’s heart for our wives. It is easy to develop tunnel-vision so that all we see are our perspectives, our struggles, and our needs in the marriage. We want God to incline our heart to our wife; to enable us to show compassion always, to demonstrate a respectful attitude without a hint of condescension.

Today I discuss the last two reasons we pray for our wives. The first is because she needs it. Men, here’s a newsflash – our wives are sinners too. Ok, we don’t need a headline to know that right? But in the midst of all this talk about praying for our wives so that we will be changed, lies this nugget of truth – our beloved, the one we are called to honor, esteem, and celebrate as God’s gift to us, is herself a sinner in need of forgiveness and grace. Pray God will grant her that each day.

Then secondly, we must pray for our wives because this is the primary weapon of our warfare on her behalf. Life is a spiritual struggle. The stresses we face as men are equally present in our wives’ lives. Today many wives work outside the home, juggling career with responsibilities to children, family, home, church, and community. Where will her support come from if not from us?

Men, when you read the Apostle Paul’s exhortation in Ephesians to take up your spiritual armor every day in order to stand firm against the schemes of the devil, do you read this challenge in the context of your marriage? Do you understand that one very effective strategy of our enemy has been to undermine the marriage relationship?

When husbands do not pray for their wives there is left a gaping hole in the battlements. Neglected prayer leaves a powerful weapon lying on the spiritual battlefield that we must occupy.

Men, love your wives as Christ loved the Church. This includes praying for her so that you will become all she needs you to be in Christ.

Be the transformation you want to see. God bless you today as you seek Him.

In this series of posts I’ve been talking primarily to men. The subject has been praying for our wives. Today is part three in this ongoing conversation. Thus far you’ve learned that praying for your wife means you will undergo change. God will begin to work in your wife’s life by first preparing you to be a change agent for her. But being a change agent means that you will change first.

Today’s question is this – Men, do you understand that your treatment of your wife is a commentary on you and not her? I can hear the grumbling already, but guys think about this. God has called us as husbands to love our wives and to sacrifice ourselves for her. Sacrificial love does not seek its own welfare as of first importance. It is concerned primarily with loving others, and I might add, loving others extravagantly.

Some might question that last qualifier – extravagant – as a proper descriptor of the love that we should have for our wives but I ask you to consider that loving your wife in a sacrificial manner means that you will not allow any earthly thing to become a priority in your life over your wife. You will see her as a reason to celebrate God’s goodness to you. In effect, you are becoming a servant leader to her.

This heart attitude reflects your understanding that your wife is God’s gift to you. When was the last time that you considered that truth? God matched the two of you to become one flesh for His glory and honor. Does your treatment of your wife reflect this reality? Here is where the rubber meets the road. No excuses are accepted. Leaders lead by example, so show the world that you value your wife by your words and actions.

Your relationship with your wife is a mirror that reflects what is in your heart. Take the time today to pray earnestly for your wife. When you do you will notice a definite heart change in you and in time if it is necessary, in your wife.

Men, these truths can be transforming moments in your lives if you recognize the opportunities before you.

Stay tuned for Part 4 of “Men – Pray For Your Wives.”

God bless you today as you seek Him.